(it’s been over 2 years since this ceremony but only now i felt called to share my story)
After hearing about this plant medicine over the years it kept crossing my path over and over again with people mentioning it to me out of the blue, as well as a strong calling from deep within myself to work with this medicine.
Over time it became clear that Ayahuasca was calling me and at the end of 2018 i plucked up the courage to hold ceremony with a Sharman deep in the Indonesian jungles.
I met the Sharman several days before the ceremony and we talked about the arrangements. We were to hold 2 ceremonies and he instructed me very clearly to start cleaning up my body and how to do it.
The day arrived, my body was clean, i was nervous, fear rushed through me at times not knowing what i was really getting into but trusting fully in my intuition that this was my calling and path i was to walk.
Packed up on my bike with my blanket and headed off into the jungle getting completely lost in the darkness of the night down rough dirt tracks. After about a hour of stumbling around and driving up wrong tracks i finally found the location and the Sharman welcomed me in.
There was little talking, i met briefly with my new friend from Russia who was sitting in ceremony with me. We were similar age and he had ceremony with ayahuasca before and was somewhat of a calming influence over me.
We were led down towards the river to a tipi under the palm trees with 3 flax sheets on the earth – this was where we were to hold ceremony. He pointed us to sit down. We sat for several hours under the stars, wind blowing through and the soft sounds of the river nearby while the Sharman prepared the medicine. My fellow Russian friend told me many stories with his limited English. His humor and friendliness lightened me up.
Before long the Sharman returned with the trays of medicines and sages, we settled in and slowly he set up the space for ceremony. Before long we had said our prayers, drank the sacred medicine slowly it overtook our bodies and before long we were both deeply purging into buckets provided.
From the depth of my being i was purging stuff up i didn’t even know existed inside me. While purging the Sharman reminded us to keep drinking water during the process.
After a time of purging my body was weak and i could feel the effects of the medicine kicking in, i lay down on the mat and allowed the experience to unfold. In the background i could hear the crackle of the fire, the Sharman singing his songs and i drifted in and out of consciousness having visions & dreams before i looked out and saw the sun coming up between the palm trees, it was very early morning.
I lay there for a few hours in the morning sun in only what i can describe as heaven, pure ecstasy and a feeling of deep gratitude for life. I sit up and my fellow Russian friend smiles at me, not too many words, we very slowly gather ourselves up & walk upto the kitchen where the Sharman was preparing us a small breakfast.
While eating breakfast my Russian friend smiles at me and says ‘tonight we die many times’ i almost choked on my breakfast and shat myself at the same time! He goes onto tell me how our next ceremony the medicine will be much stronger and more powerful. These words rang in my ears and sent waves of fear through me..
After breakfast the Sharman sits down with us and looks at us very deeply and explains to us what we should for this day, to go flush, detox our bodies, spend the day in nature and return in the evening for the next ceremony.
So we set off to flush our bodies and spend the day at the river. It was a mystical day little things happened that didn’t make much sense to my programmed & deeply conditioned mind.
That night we arrive back for the next ceremony greeted by our Sharman with a big smile. With the words from my Russian friend ‘tonight we will die many times’ still ringing in my ears i was really questioning my decision about this whole thing and fear was ripping me apart. We were led down to our tipi and there we sat and waited for the Sharman to arrive for ceremony.
He arrived with his trays and we sat and looked at us, i jumped in and spoke very clearly how i wasn’t sure if i could do it, that i was scared and afraid and that fear kept washing over me. The Sharman spoke very kind, gentle words to calm me down and all together we did some breathing exercises, chanted, sang some songs around the crackling fire and before long all the fear that was gripping me disappeared.
We started ceremony, said our prayers and drank the medicine and wow was it stronger than the previous ceremony! The taste was even more awful than the previous night and my body shook as i drank down the medicine.
Lying on my flax mat on the earth i could feel the medicine rush through my body and before long the deep purging began with sipping water in-between purges. After this process my body flopped down onto the mat and i drifted off into only what i can describe as a deeply moving, intimate and profound experience. I won’t describe the things i saw or experienced in detail here as i feel it’s very deeply personal experience for each person.
In the background i got brief glimpses the Sharman working busily over our bodies with sages and feathers while chanting and signing his songs. The night seemed long, visions drifted by, i entered into dreams that seemed like lifetimes, my body went into many stages from extreme bliss to shaking with fear to tears down my face.
I felt something warm on my skin and i looked out and the sun was well up and shining on my face, i was alive! I smiled the biggest smile, everything was so alive, the nature was soo green it’s like my eyes had been reset everything was so vibrant, full of life and beautiful. I had a strong dose of fresh energy.
Slowly i sat up, drank some water and something deep inside moved me and said your job is done here.
I gathered up my blanket, said farewell and made my way back to my accommodation where i spent much of that day resting, sleeping, drinking water and in nature.
Now over 2 years on i can only say that working with Ayahuasca moved me very deeply, it had a profound impact on my life. It was a turning point and it showed me what i needed to see.
I cant speak highly enough of this sacred plant medicine and thank it for all it gave me.
That my friends was my Ayahuasca experience in the jungles of Indonesia 🙂